What if Everything Goes Right? - The Idea of Being Enough of Where I am Today
I am often anxious about the idea of "What if everything goes down in a second? So I might as well just preparing myself for the worse", and so I started to take freelance/commission works but mostly out of 'fear'.
And so, it's easy to go on a spiral of 'always growing, doing more' because of the fear of everything will go downhill very quick. This mindset actually stems from how I got laid off, and everything feels like falling apart.
And after a year of job-hunting, I managed to land a new office job but the 'scarcity' thought is still there. It feels like I haven't had enough time to process it fully, that everything will be okay from now on. Or is it?
It feels like there are more bad news than ever- both international and national news. On top of, social media news - Feels super overwhelming.
Personally I don't know when I'll feel more at ease, but it's been almost a year that I'm having my office job and I feel like I have to do more on the side, take more freelance or work on my creative business more.
But I never asked myself, "What if Everything will go exactly what you envisioned with your current life, without wanting more?"
If something can go 'wrong', then something can also go right. I often forget about the latter. To think that something will go right and what I wanted, with what I have, made me feel more at ease.
Like, if building the life we wanted, don't we also want to feel more at ease eventually?
I have been told this narrative by, unfortunately Finance Bros who would often guilt-trip us the 'Gen-Z' or 'Young People these days' that we don't save enough, that all we do is just drink fancy coffee. That if we don't 'prepare for the worse' then we will be just homeless eventually. This was the narratives that was told repeatedly when I was in my teenage years.
But when I shifted my thinking to "What if what I am doing is already enough? Like it is hard, but I am not alone"
It made me feel less lonely and more at ease. That as if I am patting myself in the back that "You are doing enough, don't worry. Just keep going with the life you already have and you'll be okay"
I think I really needed that pep talk to myself.
That's all for my bearblog entry, and I hope you are enjoying this one. I see you on the next one!