To Keep in Touch with Your Core than Becoming Entirely Like Someone Else's - Music Artist edition
This is a very interesting discovery I had recently as I am putting more music practice into most of my day-to-day schedule: to become like other music artist when it comes to making sound composition.
This is not new experience, as back in 2013 when I was doing digital painting, I was yearning the idea of becoming a great artist that I found across Deviantart or tumblr. I remembered I was obsessed becoming the artist like them - each stroke was intended to imitate like them even in an entirely different subject drawing. This came at a cost though: I lost whoever I was and my own core.
Thankfully, fast forward to today, I am more brave and courageous when it comes to claiming who I am and my core as a visual artist. It is definitely different from taking feedback and applying it in your own work; You don't just take and apply any feedback from anyone. You choose the one that fits to your goal and your core.
To finding your core is not something I wanted to discuss in depth here, but I'll say it requires a lot of conversation with yourself via, maybe journaling or talking in front of a mirror.
Tricky part about Music - A form of melodic Air Vibration
Music has no immediate visual form; you feel it by your senses and your ear. then you form the visual form afterwards - well if you are like me who like to imagine things visually. This is where, I feel to keep in touch with how you feel and your senses is really important. You look also beyond what you just listened/feel via your MP3 Player/Phone? - what is the environment you grow up in? What is the lifestyle? What is the spoken dialect/accent you have?
And here's an interesting question: Where do you listen/interact with music?
For me, I spent a lot of my early childhood days with gaming, and I was exposed to more gaming music. Nowadays, I also like to listen to quite uplifting/unique songs with interesting sounds: FrostChildren, Ninajirachi, Porter Robinson, MadeOn, Snail's House, Temmie Chang, and a lot of energy from gaming soundtracks
Once again I am in the same experience of wanting to become like other music artist to create interesting sounds. But my experience in making sounds and listening to music throughout years cannot lie - I have tendency to lean towards very NDS-Gameboy era feel. Something that is full of wonder, excitement, adventure. There are struggles, happy moments, rest moments, etc.
At the same time, I love exploring different sounds - though I'm not into a very nightclub lifestyle. I love the energy of the music though. But I also wanted to embrace other kinds of emotions in a form of music too.
To mindfully listen and make music for me is to allow myself to feel emotions. Music-making to me is a form of how I could connect with other humans and basically feel the music together. This is why I don't want to turn music into career/something to make money of because I knew I'd have to cater towards a lot of general public's taste, and I'll lose myself once again.
I also want to reframe my thought when making music here:
To make music is not to grab attention of other people, rather it is to feel emotions together in a form of melodic air just dancing around in the atmosphere. I want to let go of control of how my music have to grab attention of other people on socials, when I can share it with few of my close friends and a supportive community, that's enough for me.
Anyway that's all for today's bearblog, I hope you're doing well and I'll see you on the next one!