There's so much more outside the apprenticeship world - A Manifesto
One day, I unexpectedly met my former teacher for an apprenticeship I did. Of course, occassionally I was "invited" to the former students as well to build the "community" (I swear it feels like a buzzword but bear with me). However I've always had this instict/gut feeling that there is a favoritism in the group, not that I care much. I just take it as a fact than just a source for envy. After all, I can just reach out to anybody if I want to study under or just simply chatting.
There is some situation where someone I know/ am friend with even was concerned, and eventually told me that, the teacher feels like they often leave me out and told me how I wasn't attractive and my skill isn't there enough to join their group. At that time, I was devastated to hear, but also it definitely confirmed my gut feeling as well.
So those "community building" is more of a "curated gathering", I thought. That the moment they had to invite me was more of an obligation, that it was a pressure from my friend in that group because they do not want to leave me out.
But enough of the past
Years later, I have my own new life: I have an office dayjob, I do my own zine-making session with others, I started to actually surround myself with supportive people. I am much more grounded. To have a community that works like an ecosystem, than just a group of people that you need to prove your worth as an artist.
Not anymore.
I had this narrative being told of "if I left the art industry now, it's done for my career". And so I forged my own path.
I do not believe the idea of "you need to have a tough skin" to survive, honestly that's just an excuse for people to be rude!
It made me realize the scene of studio artist, kind of has its own 'politics', buts let's going back to where I stand: I do not want to have that kind of lifestyle for the rest of my life as an artist.
Honestly, I want to believe the path I choose now, while feeling right to do, it would bring many good to the artist regardless if they are a hobbyist or a working professional. And it makes me feels so grounded in myself too.
Oh yeah, how did my meeting with that former teacher? It just ended up being a casual talk of how I did entirely different thing, and I didn't talk much. And as off he goes to his own group gathering, I think I realize that we are on an entirely different path.
And that's enough for me.
Thank you for reading this, well a bit of manifesto! I'll see you on the next blog post!