The Voice that grew up with me for years
Odd, but I've always had this "voice". No, it wasn't my own. I cannot put a finger on it. I'd say it's like its own, entity. Heck, probably "Part of my Whole Life".
It wasn't scary, but I'm used to it. I think even when I was 13 I did have a conversation with them, but when I'm in my own room. I can't remember. Sometimes it's disturbing, sometimes it's neutral. Nowadays I just sleep it through then I'll just forget about it.
To have a conversation, I tend to be as if I'm in another world. It's like opening a portal, deep in me. It's like I wasn't there but my body is there.
But the voice thing grow up with me, I think. I'm not sure how to put it but, nowadays I tend to hear things like "if it wasn't for me pushing you, you'd not be as hardworking and would not survive in adulthood". When things got too disturbing, I would have a "conversation" as if I'm just busy doing something while the voice is yapping about things. It's like, yeah you are here. But I'm gonna do my own thing.
Not that I'm scared of it, maybe because "we" grow up together. I'm kind of used to it. We sometimes "argue" like a sibling, like who is gonna decide what, but in the end of the day I'd decide.
This is a draft blog post hopefully for future zines. I hope you enjoy reading this unusual post